As a part of my regular daily workout routine, I go to a ballet bar class with a few of my friends. While I am naturally very motivated to do the daily routine of 6 excercises, each consisting of 30 second intervals of four sets, I am always competing with myself, trying to beat my limit from the last class. Whether it is doing high knees, and choosing a spot in the mirror where I want to get my knees to reach, or trying to progress in the number of push ups I could do in the 30 second intervals, there is no doubt that I am very competitive with myself. While it is obvious to everyone else in the class that I am always pushing myself to my fullest potential, I have in a sense established my role in the class as the most intense and competitive person among the regulars of the class. One girl even gave me the nickname "the energizer bunny."
Today, I walked into the class and took my normal spot on the front right. As i began to stretch before the class began, I noticed a new girl who had never been in any of my classes before. Assuming that she would not threaten my role in the class, I gave her a welcoming smile. Once the class began, everything changed.
As she constantly looked at me in the mirror while doing each workout move, our stares were enough to say "Back off, I will beat you." Thinking about it now, "beat you" at what? Isn't working out a personal and individual goal with ones self. So why was i getting so frustrated that this girl was openly competing with me; but then again, could it just be that I was playing a mind game with myself? After thinking about whether or not it was all in my head or there was in fact true competition, I finally realized; IT DOESN'T MATTER! By the time these thoughts had settled in my mind, the class was over, and I had successfully completed it without for a moment dreading each move. While I was constantly in conflict with myself throughout the class, my thoughts were a way to distract me from dreading the class until the end. Therefore, my class had in a sense become a form of gaming for myself, making working out more enjoyable and effective!
This is a very beautiful post analyzing your thought process of what happened during this episode. This happens to me all the time where I tend to psych myself out. But as you mentioned, I eventually realized that I as a person do much better and motivate myself more when I'm under pressure (especially from outside sources vs. using my own willpower). I think as a coping mechanism, a lot of times my brain will invent or see certain scenarios in that way in order to provide me with an added incentive to get the job done. But its interesting to note that it really is a form of "gaming for myself". I had never really viewed it that way prior to this post!
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